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<title>you're the shiver that i can't shake by awoogah123</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29785659">you're the shiver that i can't shake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/awoogah123/pseuds/awoogah123'>awoogah123</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Red Means Go [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Men's Hockey RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Reminiscing, Sad, Secret Relationship, ice hockey, teammates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:49:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>891</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29785659</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/awoogah123/pseuds/awoogah123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack couldn’t stop his mind from straying to thoughts of Craig - the way he’d sling his strong arm over Jack’s waist when they were in bed together, the way he’d tangle their legs up. The way he’d kiss him like Jack was his only source of oxygen. Like he’d <i>die</i> without him.
</p>
<p><i>Fuck,</i> Jack missed that.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Craig Smith/Jack Studnicka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Red Means Go [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2185512</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you're the shiver that i can't shake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jack had known getting into this - whatever <i>this</i> was - that things couldn’t last, and that was <i>without</i> Craig’s constant reminders. Granted, Jack hadn’t anticipated that their <i>’thing’</i> would last <i>months,</i> but he wasn’t going to push it - they’d had fun. Jack had been <i>happy.</i>
</p>
<p>And that’s why it all sucked so much.
</p>
<p>Things could never work out for them, not whilst they were still in the NHL, playing on the <i>same</i> team, and however much either man wanted this to work, did they <i>really</i> want to risk their <i>whole lives?</i>
</p>
<p>Jack did, but he wasn’t going to push Craig - that wasn’t fair. And <i>that’s</i> why he’d had to call it a day. Jack was tired of living a lie, and <i>however</i> much he missed Craig - which was a <i>lot</i> - he just couldn’t put himself through it anymore, the hurt, the tiredness of having to lie <i>all</i> the time.
</p>
<p>And from what Jack could see, Craig wasn’t holding up any better.
</p>
<p>“<i>Seriously,</i> dude,” Freddy huffed, waving a hand in Jack’s face. “What is your deal?”
</p>
<p>“Huh?” Jack asked; realising he was boring a hole into the tabletop, he forced himself to look up. Freddy, and a few of the guys around him, were staring at him. “Nothing,” Jack forced a shrug.
</p>
<p>“<i>Sure,</i>” Freddy scoffed, taking a sip of his beer. “You’ve been moping around all <i>week.</i>”
</p>
<p>“I have <i>not,</i>” Jack argued, even though he <i>knew</i> it was true. 
</p>
<p>“<i>Yes,</i> you have,” Bjorkie butted in.
</p>
<p>“You <i>do</i> look like a lost puppy,” Coyler helpfully supplied.
</p>
<p>Jack simply scoffed, turning back to his beer. However much digging his teammates wanted to do, they <i>weren’t</i> getting a peep out of him.
</p>
<p>“Trouble in paradise?” Chuck asked, and <i>why</i> couldn’t Jack act more nonchalant? His head snapped up and his cheeks flushed - <i>way to be cool…</i> “Whoa, I was just joking, but…” Chuck laughed.
</p>
<p>“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jack mumbled, taking a long pull of his beer - he needed it.
</p>
<p>Trying to ignore the newfound interest in him, Jack made quick work of finishing his beer and didn’t hesitate to get another one. A Devils game was playing on the TV and it reminded him of Smitty - <i>everything</i> seemed to remind him of Smitty - he missed laying on the couch beside him, cuddled up--
</p>
<p>“It’s about Smitty, right?” Freddy’s voice was so quiet Jack was <i>sure</i> he’d imagined it. Unfortunately he hadn’t.
</p>
<p>Jack figured that if he just <i>ignored</i> it, Freddy would leave it alone. He was wrong.
</p>
<p>“I’m gonna guess that’s a yes, then,” Freddy muttered.
</p>
<p>“<i>No,</i>” Jack blurted, whipping around to face Freddy, because <i>no one</i> could find out about him and Craig - not that there <i>was</i> anything to find out anymore.
</p>
<p>Freddy stayed silent, just quirked a brow.
</p>
<p>“It has nothing to do with Smitty,” Jack whispered, grabbing his fresh beer from the bar and taking a long sip.
</p>
<p>“Why don’t I believe you?” Freddy asked, levelling Jack with a narrow-eyed gaze.
</p>
<p>“Because you’re not trusting?” Jack tried - and failed - for a grin. Freddy just shook his head.
</p>
<p>“<i>Jack…”</i>
</p>
<p>“Whatever,” Jack sighed, shoulders slumping. “It doesn’t matter now anyway, it’s over.”
</p>
<p>“Oh.” Freddy chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully, “You wanna talk about it?”
</p>
<p>“What’s there to talk about?” Jack asked miserably, “I knew I was setting myself up to fail.”
</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, man,” Freddy sighed, clapping Jack’s arm.
</p>
<p>Before Freddy could walk away, Jack reached out and stopped him.
</p>
<p>“How--” Jack sighed, “How did you know?”
</p>
<p>“You guys weren’t exactly subtle,” Freddy said, chuckling a little.
</p>
<p>Did that mean the <i>others</i> knew too? Did that mean they <i>didn’t</i> care? Jack shook the thoughts away, there was no point in doing this to himself - <i>torturing</i> himself. It was done, there was no point in dwelling on it.
</p>
<p>But that was easier said than done, especially after a couple of drinks in his system. Jack <i>longed</i> for Craig, to be able to just go round his house, to curl up under the covers, to spend all day laying around together. It was so much <i>more</i> than sex - Jack hated to admit it, but he’d <i>fallen</i> for Craig. Fallen <i>hard.</i>
</p>
<p>His teammate’s loud bantering was only a <i>small</i> distraction, Jack couldn’t stop his mind from straying to thoughts of Craig - the way he’d sling his strong arm over Jack’s waist when they were in bed together, the way he’d tangle their legs up. The way he’d kiss him like Jack was his only source of oxygen. Like he’d <i>die</i> without him.
</p>
<p><i>Fuck,</i> Jack missed that.
</p>
<p>Trying hard to block out the loud, cheerful sounds of the bar, Jack slid his phone from his pocket. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, wasn’t sure how <i>taunting</i> himself was going to make him feel any better, but he pulled up his and Craig’s chat anyway.
</p>
<p>It had been a while since they’d last texted, and Jack didn’t even know <i>what</i> he’d say if he messaged Craig, nothing helpful, that was for sure.
</p>
<p>Movement on the screen caught his eye and he suddenly panicked he’d typed and sent a message without realising it. He hadn’t.
</p>
<p>The small speech bubble beneath Craig’s name made Jack’s breath hitch - Smitty was on their chair <i>right now,</i> possibly doing the same thing as Jack. The small three dots bounced up and down the bubble, teasing Jack, keeping him waiting.
</p>
<p>The message never came.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title is from Habit by Louis Tomlinson.</p><p>I hope you enjoyed this! Kudos and comments are appreciated!&lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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